Crisis communication
A few weeks ago, we experienced a little the trouble with GoMo. There was a bit of a crisis between our two countries. Luckily, there is now peace in the UBN, we also signed the peace charter. Here you can read something more about the crisis.
Targia
Solution through negotiations:
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Our country, our rules
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Not true, they are used to further science, we will share our wisdom about lifting weights with them
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We will test our steroids out on animals first from now on
Result:
The exchange where we offer free steroids in return for scientific research will continue, we will test our steroids on animals first to make sure they are safe before using the steroids on their people, we promised we will never support Evenia, and we will sell them steroids as well and we will use this money to improve scientific research.
Our communication:
Sponsored social media stressing that our steroids are safe and the offer is still on
We will advertise simple, flashy, American-style posters throughout Targia, stressing that the steroids are safe (now). We will act like they are stupid and try to manipulate them with simple marketing tactics (bright flashy colors, big letters, and numbers, big and over-the-top pictures of guys with muscles...)
GoMo
Solution through negotiations:
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if we can continue growing their flower, we will give them some of the vaccines made from it
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we will accuse them of making our people sick due to their bad hygiene
Result:
We will start trading between GoMo and Dorkmania, and we will stop growing the flower for ourselves and instead, we will start paying for it, GoMo will start farming this flower to keep up with the production, and we will then also sell our vaccines to GoMo and we will use this money to improve scientific research, the vaccines that we are selling them, however (still made of the flowers) will be for std’s because they requested this.
Our communication:
An article in a quality newspaper (in newspaper format)
We will subtly communicate that GoMo is a dirty country with stupid, inferior people. We will explain that we came to a solution with these primitive and simple people by establishing a trade agreement with them (something we came up with of course).
We will buy flowers off of them for our vaccines and in return, we will sell GoMo vaccines for STDs because this foul, disease-riddled country apparently needs them.